DNP-CD: A Philosophical Investigation


After Game 1 of the Boston Celtics season, a strange acronym (DNP-Coach’s Decision)
appeared in the box score, next to the names of several Celtics players. We at the
Darko Index believe there is something fishy going on in the NBA, and that the Coach
has nothing to do with this decision. Our head philosophical investigators and code-breakers
have been working on solving this mystery. With help from Conan Graham and Jonah Hall,
we have a few possible answers to the fact that Darko Milicic was nowhere to be found
during the Celtics opener against the Miami Heat.

Do Not Ponder – Coastal Destinations

Do Not Participate – Coordinated Devastation

Do Not Procrastinate — Castration Duplication

Deadly Noise Pollution — Causes Deviation

Depressed Narcotic Practitioner – Calibrating Dimebags

Desperate Night Prostitute – Call Doctor

Devastating Nitrogen Pollutant – Contained Dubiously

Destabilizing Narcoleptic Paradox – Creates Dysentery

Detained Nervous Priests – Cause Dissension

Delicate Neurotic Patients – Coping Diligently

Doc Noticed Pain – Cramping Darko

“Darko Not Play!” – Cried Darko.

More on the Celtics first three games coming soon…

Also (likely) coming soon…

Tall White Men in Rehab
Ray Allen, NBA Soap Operas, Loyalty
Asleep by the Lakers
A Dozen Underrated
Gregg Popovich and the Pop-o-Matic Bubble

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