Splice Today and NFL Team Name Revisions, via Human Host

If you haven’t bookmarked the site, Splice Today (www.splicetoday.com), I highly suggest you do.

Russ Smith, the creator/publisher/editor of Splice Today has been kind enough to post my writing, which will be linked to on the home page.  one of the few sites that are committed to paying writers real American money. Regardless of these facts, Splice Today is worth checking out for other reasons. On reason: they post all kinds of interesting writing, sometimes funny, sometimes strange, and almost always idiosyncratic. Here is an example of something posted today, that I find absurdly hilarious: “NFL Team Name Revisions,” written by Human Host.

As the Super Bowl rapidly approaches, we here at Human Host must admit that we are die-hard fans of that good ol’ gridiron spectacle known as American football. The fanfare, the wild drunken crowds, the sexy cheerleaders, we can’t get enough!

Despite our love for the game, we feel that football team names just don’t properly reflect the culture or the hopes and dreams of this country and its athletes; so, with a more critical eye turned towards the NFL, we’ve submitted a few proposals for new team names that will make football a thousand times more respectable than it is now:

Los Angeles Wolf Punchers

Pittsburgh Pork Destroyers

Phoenix Freedom Tunnel

New England Laser Donkeys

Philadelphia Fungi

Seattle Sex Chariots

Baltimore Barf Monsters

Washington Pizza Warriors

San Antonio Psychotic Blobs

Portland Gulf Monkeys

San Francisco Cheese Swords

Chicago Shrug-a-Hawks

Oklahoma City Old Dudes

Albuquerque Rainbow Toilets

St. Louis Fighting Sponges

To read the rest, click here: http://splicetoday.com/sports/nfl-team-name-revisions

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