Very Brief Previews of the NBA’s Conference Semifinals

Truly informative. Breathtakingly simple. Can be read in nanoseconds (if you’re a robot)….here are some very brief previews of the NBA’s Conference Semifinals:

Eastern Conference

(2) Cleveland Cavs vs (3) Chicago Bulls

LeBron, Kyrie and role players go up against a roster of ten high-quality NBA players, many of whom are limping, some of whom may never regain their previously lofty status as superstars.

Reasons not to root for the Cavs

LeBron has won enough. Kendrick Perkins is more mercenary than NBA player. J.R. Smith made a despicable move and should have been suspended for five games.

Reasons to root for the Bulls

Derrick Rose has been through enough. Jimmy Butler has been through enough. Pau Gasol, especially after his tenure with Kobe, has been through enough. Nikola Mirotic is fun to watch drain three-pointers and block shots.

(1) Atlanta Hawks vs (4) Washington Wizards

The most unassuming 60-win team in NBA history, with one of the more unassuming head coaches in the league takes on the peaking-at-the-right-time Wizards of Washington and their trash-talking verbal assassin, Paul Pierce.

Reasons to root for Atlanta

Paul Millsap’s passing, Kyle Korver’s shooting, Dennis Shroeder’s speed, and everything about Mr. Macedonia, Pero Antic.

Reasons not to root for Washington

Drew Gooden should not be providing this kind of shooting for a lackluster Wizards bench. Paul Pierce is no longer a Celtic. They are playing the lovable Hawks.

Western Conference

(1) Golden State Warriors vs (5) Memphis Grizzlies

The most dominant regular season team in recent NBA history, one could argue in all of NBA history, with the newly-minted league MVP (Steph Curry) whose irresistible style of play makes temporary fans out of cardboard boxes takes on a facsimile of a very good playoff team, playing without its well-balanced leader (Mike Conley) who will attempt to come back from facial surgery with titanium plates surrounding his eye.

Reasons to root for the Warriors

Steph Curry and Klay Thompson raining fire from 28 feet; Draymond Green’s intensity and versatility; Andrew Bogut and Shaun Livingston for the sake of injury redemptions.

Reasons not to root for the Grizzlies

Nobody wants to watch a West Finals in which Zach Randolph and either DeAndre Jordan or James Harden combine to shoot 40 free-throws per game. The NBA doesn’t want their ratings ground down into dust, either.

Reason to root for the Grizzlies to win two games: Mike Conley, Tony Allen, Marc Gasol, and Zach Randolph all deserve some love.

(2) Houston Rockets vs (3) Los Angeles Clippers

If Houston beats Dallas in a playoff series, but the Mavs played with the unity of an All-Star team (all offense, no defense), did Houston really win the series? While Houston was sleep-walking its way to the second round, the Clippers merely survived a seven-game slugfest with the mighty San Antonio Spurs. Harden and company against the latest “Big Three” of Chris Paul, Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan.

Reasons to root for the Clippers

Chris Paul helped the Clips pull out Game 7 on one leg; Blake Griffin is a brilliant passer; DeAndre is fun to watch play defense and catch lop passes, but fast-forwarding through free-throws is not as much fun. Jamal Crawford has a knack for making impossible shots that sometimes make me gasp.

Reasons NOT to root for the Rockets

James Harden going to the free-throw line. James Harden going to the free-throw line. Jason Terry was a stinky poo bag for the Celtics, so I don’t want to see him resurrecting his playoff success now. Dwight Howard is less fun to watch than DeAndre Jordan.


Okay…now go watch the games.

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